But neither my mother nor father ever tried to force me to go out in front of others. They always told me I was just the cautious type who took time to open up, and that I wasn’t a bad kid. Hearing that always brought me comfort.

I wiped away my falling tears and nodded, and about a month after that day, I came to realize what the ‘change’ my grandmother had mentioned actually was.

“…Ah, huuuh…”

Biting the blanket to keep the sounds from escaping, I squeezed my thighs together. It was strange. This had never happened before, but around sunset, my body would slowly begin to feel hot. And once I lay down in bed, the area below would itch unbearably, and my hand would naturally drift there.

It was a place I’d never touched outside of washing. Instead of touching it directly, I’d clutch a pillow and squeeze my thighs together, or tense and release my muscles, and it would feel incredibly good.

I’d strain so hard that tears would form, and then my body would suddenly relax with a jolt, and I’d feel something hot trickling out below. When I shifted slightly, I felt wings and a tail being crushed beneath me, even though I hadn’t realized they’d come out.

“…Go back. I said go back.”

Sniffling as I repeated those words, the wings and tail vanished. It felt monstrous. I couldn’t even think about telling my mother.

***

Even as I struggled with self-loathing, I continued doing that every night, biting my lips whenever I saw my damp underwear. But as time passed, it never felt like enough. In the end, I slid my freshly washed hand between my thighs.

“Uuh…”

The heat was intense. Maybe it was just because my body was so hot under the covers. As I hesitantly brought my fingers closer, sticky fluid trickled from the parted folds, and my finger slid in.

“Ah!”

Startled, I quickly pulled my hand out. Strangely, I was excited. I licked my dry lips and pushed my finger back in. It felt bizarre. Why was this even here? I carefully pushed my finger deeper inside the hole, and it went in endlessly.

It was a different sensation from just squeezing my thighs. The hollow space now filled brought a deep, spreading pleasure, and my body gradually heated up. I kept thrusting below until my unsatisfied body finally felt sated.

After spending a long time ravaging myself like that, I would come to my senses and look down at my soaked fingers and thighs, and sob from an unknown guilt. I couldn’t possibly tell my mother I did things like that every night.

But the changes didn’t stop there. I’d never thought I was ugly, but now I was becoming so beautiful that anyone who saw me would blush.

Watching myself change was strange and terrifying. And people’s changing attitudes were even worse—I hated them.

Back then, unless I was helping in the kitchen at my parents’ store, I never went outside.

Several years after my body began changing into that of a succubus, my mind became so exhausted I couldn’t bear it anymore. I grew gaunter and gloomier by the day. Worried, my mother dug up my grandmother’s grave and retrieved something.

It was an heirloom from my grandmother, who had also been a succubus. It was a flat, silver ring with intricate geometric patterns engraved densely across its rough surface.

“…What is this?”

“A long time ago, I asked your grandmother, ‘You’re so pretty, why do you wear such an ugly ring?’ And she said it was something she needed in order to live as a human. Back then, I didn’t understand what she meant, but now I think you need it. Lily, you’re not doing anything wrong. You understand what I’m saying, right?”

Even without saying it, my mother knew. She knew what I had been doing every night. Yet she said nothing, quietly watching over me, and even went so far as to dig up my grandmother’s grave despite what others might say. The ring she gave me was the only thing that could suppress a succubus’s instincts.

After I started wearing it, I was freed from the dark impulses and instincts that tried to consume me every night. For some reason, from that moment on, I also stopped menstruating. As I grew more used to using magic, I altered my appearance to something more average, and going outside no longer felt difficult.

For several years, life was peaceful. Until war broke out.

Now called an empire, Ciel had been a powerful kingdom just a few years ago. The current emperor, upon ascending the throne, declared a war of conquest, and the fragile peace was shattered in an instant.

The emperor was a brilliant strategist and had incredibly powerful knights capable of executing his plans without the slightest deviation. The kingdom where I was born and raised was destroyed in that war.

I still remember that day.

Before the morning dew had dried, the sound of the invasion alarm rang like thunder and jolted me awake. Without even dressing properly, my mother and I jumped onto the wagon my father was driving. The sound of hooves shaking the ground, clashing weapons, people screaming, and thick smoke covering the sky felt like a nightmare.

Living near the north gate, we managed to escape before it was sealed off, but in that chaos, I realized I had lost the ring that was my grandmother’s keepsake.

In the end, I brushed off my parents’ protests and returned alone to the castle to find it. I wandered the streets and finally spotted the ring lying on the ground, only for a knight in blue armor to pick it up.

I followed that knight for a long time, waiting for him to be alone. That was my biggest mistake. The instincts I had suppressed for so long surged forward and eroded my sanity. I was gasping and crouched on the ground, unable even to think of hiding my appearance.

That was when Odile approached, concerned. In a daze, I kissed him instinctively and demanded he give me the ring. Amid the commotion, the knight who had picked up the ring appeared again, looking as if he were about to cry, and said the ring was gone.

I ranted like a madwoman, demanding someone take responsibility, and Odile agreed. All I needed was someone who could help suppress my sexual urges, and I practically forced myself on him. I then used his sense of duty to make him promise to provide me with energy until the ring was found. That was our agreement, our contract.

Later, I ended up sleeping with the other commanders who visited Odile as well. Once I came back to my senses, I realized I had threatened them with absurd words and done things too shameful to repeat. I could no longer be around them in my right mind. That’s why I chose to become a maid and only approached the commanders at night.

I knew they, especially Odile, were desperately searching for the ring. It was clearly no ordinary item, and I suspected there was more to it than I knew. But the fact that we couldn’t find a single clue was terrifying and frustrating.

Three years had passed since I lost the ring, and it had been almost a year since I became a maid. I was growing more and more exhausted, but I didn’t want to give up hope.

***

After absorbing so much energy during the night, my body felt light, but I wasn’t in my right mind after bursting into tears that morning. I lost track of time while working, and before I knew it, evening had come. Looking up at the sky turning from crimson to deep indigo made me feel empty.

“These days, the days really fly by.”

“You shouldn’t say that where others can hear, Lily. You work too hard. I’ve been here for five years, and I’ve never seen anyone like you. No wonder the head maid adores you.”

The smell of food made me nauseous. I poked at the salad I’d brought without adding any dressing, and at Maria’s admiring words, I shook my head gloomily.

“It’s not that I like working. I just like the time I get to spend working.”

“How’s that any different?”

“I don’t know. But it is different.”

Since I had to absorb energy at night no matter what, I preferred the mornings, when I could work without thinking. Maria looked puzzled, but I couldn’t explain.

I put my fork down without finishing even half my plate.

“You’re done eating?”

“Yeah. My stomach feels awful. I’m going up first.”

“Alright, alright. Get some rest.”

Forcing a smile at her worried gaze, I returned to my room and cooled myself off with cold water.

Just like Maria said, Head Maid Sistina favored me for being diligent and hardworking. Thanks to that, even though it had only been a year since I became a maid, I was allowed to have my own room. It was a huge relief that no one could see me kick the blankets like crazy and scream into them with my whole body every dawn.

Outside, the sky was gradually darkening. Standing in front of the mirror, I hesitated and let out a sigh.

Currently, there were three knight commanders staying in the palace. Of them, the ones I’d slept with were Sir Odile and Sir Endymion of the Silver Order. Regulus, the commander of the Golden Order, had been an ordinary knight at the time, so thankfully I hadn’t been involved with him as a succubus.

It scared me to visit Odile again after upsetting him, but Endymion made me just as uncomfortable and anxious, so I always felt nervous around this hour.

Even as a succubus, I didn’t particularly like Endymion, so I was sure I’d end up going to Odile again tonight. I closed my eyes, hoping that at least today, I could just quietly absorb energy without doing or saying anything strange.